To Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her 1 Samuel 1:5
Two years ago, the Lord gave me this promise: “Instead of your shame, there shall be a double portion”. Isaiah 61:7.
My first D. Min class at ATS was Soul Care, Dr. Rob Reimer’s course at ATS. Through this course, I had become self-aware that shame was at the root of many of my life decisions and behavioral strongholds. Shame especially reared it’s ugly head as I compared myself and my accomplishments to those of other people. Why was I not as “successful” a pastor was other ministers I knew? Why was I not as athletic or naturally slim or a better financial manager? I needed to learn the blessing of “being enough”, to quote Brene Brown. Well, God has taught me that lesson day by day and through is help I am making progress.
God’s Love Breaks Through Our Shame
Today in my morning Bible reading, I saw in the story of Hannah, the mother of the prophet Samuel, shades of the shame story. I was encouraged that God’s love breaks through our shame. Hannah’s husband Elkanah had a second wife who had all the blessing that Hannah longed for, which in her culture was many children, especially sons. Hanah did not have this, but despite what she did not have, her husband, (whose name means “God has created” and who can represent God in the application of this story) loved her and loved her so much— that he gave her a “double portion”. The big truth to know from this passage is that God’s gift of the “double portion” is not motivated by anything that we have done but by the giver’s love. God loves us so much, just because we are, that he give us a double portion.
I have found that this “double portion” is not necessarily God giving me twice as much as I feel I am lacking. God is not saying he is going to make me twice as handsome, or twice as fit, or give me twice as much ministry success. He gives me a double portion of His grace, His love, the awareness that I am His, that I am enough. His double portion does show up in tangible blessing, and my life it has shown up in surprising, unexpected ways. So dear friends and loved ones, I am very much experiencing more and more of this reality these days and pray you may experience this same reality. Let God speak deeply to your heart that you are enough. Let Him know your longing and patiently wait for Him to faithfully fulfill His promises to you in surprising ways.